


Regret

by DifferentChild



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 1796 Broadway, Abuse, Additional Warnings Apply, Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Cussing, Earth-1796, Gen, Heir Apparent, Howard Stark death, Martia Stark death, TW alcoholism, Tony Stark Has Issues, tw abuse, tw alcohol, tw death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1532027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DifferentChild/pseuds/DifferentChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard and Maria Stark are dead. Tony reflects on his last words to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/gifts), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Heir Apparent](https://archiveofourown.org/works/667224) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof). 
  * Inspired by [1796 Broadway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/972937) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue). 



> Sorry this is a bit all over the place, this is written as though it’s coming from Tony’s mind directly so he is a bit all over the place, given the situation. Trigger warnings in the tags to make it easier to figure out if you should read this. There is a summary at the bottom if you need to skip. Thank you!

Tony never imagined it would happen. All kids get frustrated with their parents, say things they regret, but not every kid has their parents die before they can say something nice in return, not that nice even always applied. It was complicated; at least that’s what he kept telling himself. It was complicated. It wasn’t something he could’ve controlled; he was just a child, still so young. But he wasn’t. Not anymore, Howard had taken care of that.

When your father spends more time with his liquor cabinet than he does with you, then you learn a thing or two about taking care of yourself. Admittedly Jarvis did the cooking and cleaning, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t alone emotionally. Sure, Tony Stark was a genius! Everyone knew that, he’d known that before he’d known that. But a genius level IQ didn’t equip you to deal with being the child of a man who valued a dead icon more than he valued his own living son.

Being the child of Howard Stark was less than fabulous. He drank a lot, smoked a lot, cussed a lot (especially at Tony). He was far from the saint everyone painted him to be, especially those that didn’t actually know him. They lamented the loss of such a brilliant man with so much ahead of him, what did they know?! Nothing! That’s what. Nothing. They didn’t know anything about this so-called brilliant man. 

Howard Stark was great at business sure, but he had people helping him with that. Could he disassemble things and put them back together in less time than I it did for someone to make them? No. Could he do complicated equations or understand concepts of theoretical physics? Could he be a father to his only son and heir apparent? Maybe, but he sure as hell didn’t; and Tony had been sure to give him a piece of his mind about that before he’d left that night. And that was the last time he’d ever be able to do that…

When he found out his parents were gone, his first thought was NO. His next was still denial; there must’ve been a mistake. But after many reassurances it was true, he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. There had been so many times he’d wished, hoped, even that Howard would just go. He’d begged for Howard to die and get out of his life. It wasn’t all that uncommon for a victim to want their abuser gone. It wasn’t that Howard hit him all the time, though that happened on occasion, but it was emotional, it was neglect. It was the harsh words, the insulting his intelligence, the beyond lack of support It was discouraging his talents, using him only when it was convenient. It was all of that and more. But when Tony wished Howard dead…he never thought it would happen.

The child-like part of him that still existed, buried thanks to his father’s influence, wondered if it had been his fault. Rationally, he knew that wasn’t possible but it didn’t stop him from wondering. It scared him. There was regret. Maybe he pushed Howard to drink; maybe if he wasn’t fucking bon then none of this would’ve happened. Maybe then Jarvis would be alive (he’d been informed that the butler was driving and…All these what ifs. All this guilt. All this time he’d wished he were dead. He’d screamed it at him, he’d screamed it at no one. He’d cried, alone, in his room. All this time and he was gone. He didn’t really want it. He just wanted it to stop. But it was too late. He’d wanted him dead, he’d told him that, screamed it at him, and now he was gone, forever.

He’d never get another chance to see if his father was something less than an asshole. He’d never get another chance to see if his mother was maybe a decent person if she wasn’t around his father. He’d never get to find out if they really wanted him…because they were gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Summary:
> 
> Tony finds out his parents are dead. He muses on all the horrible things he'd wished upon them (particularly Howard) and the last things he said to them. He is filled with regret and sorrow.
> 
> Thanks for reading guys! And especially thank you to rainproof for inspiring me with her response to an earlier comment as well as teaberryblue because those two lovelies wrote/are writing 1796 Broadway which is AMAZING.


End file.
